New Year

Happy New Year to everyone!

Now that's got off my chest here's what I have to say about 2004, it is such a turbulent year or at least to the last part of this year. Not only to the country but to my personal life as well.

I had just quit my job in Manila and had gotten home, adjusting to the fact that I am unemployed. I was in my 2nd month studying caregiver and so far I like the feeling of studying again. I even thought the idea of leaving the country is appealing. So most of the year was spent on studying.

I saw an ad in the local paper about a call center job. Actually, my sister showed it to me and I thought that they are looking for people in Baguio to work for their call center in Manila. But I was wrong, it turns out that they are opening a call center in Baguio. I decided to apply even if I was still studying then. I did and what happened was they put me on active file. That left me really depressed, realizing that I regretted quitting my previous job.

By July 2004 after finishing my competency exam in caregiving, I got a call from that particular call center asking me if I wanted to drop by and take an exam by Monday. After dropping by at the EPZA admin building (the building wasn't completed then), the exam was fine and so was the final interview. By Friday we were already signing our contracts.

So my life as a Technical Support began. The training was fun at first but after that it was real hard work. I contemplated quitting my job a lot of times and I still do because of the way they treat their employees. I know we need money but this is ridiculous.

So I will welcome 2005 answering calls from idiotic customers since we are queing.

What a life.

miscommunication my ass

For some strange reason the holiday season is not that bad. I had fun with my nieces and renewed my bonds with my friends on the phone (I was only going to be in Manila for a few days and meeting them is not that practical). I developed an attachment to my baby niece named Mary Elizabeth. She is so adorable (especially if she sleeps) even if she is crying she is so cute, and even if she drools she is so wonderful. Funny thing is she shuts up when I carry her. Must be because I look like her mother, who is also my sister.

But this is not about what I did during the holidays but what had happened that ruined my Christmas. I just woke up real late and was not able to go to the early morning mass. That was fine, but while there was chaos in the house, my father handed me my celphone and said that it is my coach/supervisor on the other line.

At first I was happy to hear from him since I thought that the reason he called was to wish me happy holidays. It wasn't. Though he greeted me Merry Christmas and all that, the real reason why he called is because he is asking me to go to work at midnight on the 26th or today. Ok, fine that would be ok but at the same time I would have to report to work at 11 pm on the same time. Double shift my dear. And I just got out from one last week. We already worked for nine straight days so that we'll be able to have a break on Christmas.

But another double schedule on the 26th?! No way! What happened was a miscommunication between agents and our coach. Out of 15 agents 7 of us were absent. I was in Manila for crying out loud! Going home on a Christmas day is possible but difficult since all bus stations are filled with people and all trips are fully-booked.

When I got back home this afternoon and got to work tonight the entire team received a lecture from our coach. Sure he is not mad at the ones who were gone last night but he sure is disappointed in us. He sounded like my mother yapping away about sacrificing his family for us achoo-choo-choo and all that bullshit.

Family comes first, not my job. I didn't want to come to a point that I would have to choose between my family and my job. That's bad.

I have nothing against my coach and I appreciate his concern and the way he cares for our team but what happened afterwards was outrageous.

As punishment, he gave us a 2-day rest day OT leaving us without any restday.

After that I was already thinking on when to resign after he sent me a YM (Yahoo Messenger) saying that I have to work for seven days. Patayan kaya kami. Then later on he sent me another YM saying that he changed his mind and decided to let me and six other agents work one rest day OT by the 28th.

Despite of that, I lost my trust and confidence towards my coach and it just made me angrier.

Miscommunication my ass.

really, really, pissed off

I am soooooo mad right now. What reason? I just heard my coach saying that we have to render one hour OT. I hate people forcing me to do something that I don't want to do. Overtime is one of them. I mean I will render OT when I want to (which is never) so don't force me.

I used to go for OT, heck I volunteered for a 6-hour OT (that is 12noon to 6pm) and the fun thing about it is that I never got any calls because in the US that's early morning or in Filipino madaling araw. And for that one time I felt normal going to work when the sun is up ang going home when the evening comes.

Unfortunately, when payday came my supposed 6 hours OT has become 3.5 hours, where did the 2.5 hours went? It was fixed eventually but I got traumatized after that. I avoided OT's whenever I can.

But they keep on coming. Sometimes it pays off (my coach makes it a point to do so) but the dread of doing OT is still there.

Yesterday I turned down an OT request from one of the managers on duty. He was pleading already but I said no in a firm and edged voice. Thank goodness he gave up.

OT is a way for one to get promoted but being forced to do one is unreasonable.

In my former job whenever there is a request for OT it is the operations who are turning down agents who want to do overtime because we are too many. In my current job WE are the ones who are turning the management down for overtime.

They better fix their accounting or the resignation rate would go up, up and away!

holiday ramblings...

How many days before Christmas? Almost 4 days right?

As a child I love Christmas and always look forward to it. The decorations at our house may be old but who cares, they're beautiful to me. Then there's the cold air and Baguio has plenty of those chilly breezes that turn my cheeks to a bright red color. There are also the gifts that I can't wait to open on Christmas day and the money I received from my relatives and to my relatives' relatives.

But the best part is...the fact that you have your family and friends around you. The sense of togetherness is there and strong. It makes things more fun. I remember my brother before he was married and the way he goofs around and mother's cousin who makes people laugh with his lively stories about his boyhood or family anecdotes. Even if everyone is sleepy from the night before, there is a certain vitality in the air especially from the children dropping by the house in Malabon to visit our aunts who are their godmothers.

That was then. This is now. I hate Christmas.

Why?

I just got older, that's why.

I don't know how it began but suddenly Christmas is not much of a big deal anymore. Hell, I much prefer New Year. It's much more sacred and the anticipation of the new year is more exciting than waiting for Santa Claus.

People say that the essence of Christmas is the commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Sure that's true though December 25 is a pagan holiday which is the day of the sun. Jesus was born sometime August not December. But hey, it's all Constatine's fault.

The togetherness is gone. My brother who is married and has two daughters left the country 6 years ago and his wife and kids joined him afterwards. It is bleak in Malabon and for me, the children visiting the house is now annoying instead of fun. I spend Christmas day lying on a papag and sleeping. My sister does the same thing.

Hmm, have you ever noticed how our country is going from bad to bad to worse to worse? It climaxed only this December. After the typhoon Yoyong, which left so many people dead, homeless and debating on the total log ban, FPJ died though this is not a big deal to me...hello he's no Mother Theresa or Princess Diana. He's just an action star turned politician (or almost became one), then former House Speaker Jose de Venecia's youngest daughter died on a fire cause by overheating of the Christmas lights in their house. Why is it the I have this feeling that this is karma on his part?

Anyway, we are going out of context here. This is supposed to be a personal issue not the country's.

But I still go to Manila with my family on Chritsmas just like any other routine in my life like waking up from bed, going to the bathroom and going to work.

There was once where I spent Christmas in Baguio and I was alone. And I hate it. This new year I will end up doing the same thing since I am at my blasted job. Customer service...yarghh!

I wonder if I would always be lonely during holidays?

to resign or not to resign

Working in a call center is tough and draining physically, mentally, psychologically and emotionally. But somehow I survived.

How much longer would I stay on?

For the past five months I am contemplating if I should stay on with my current job or just stuff a resgination letter in my coach's throat, nah, I'd rather chuck it in the MOD's throat. In Filipino, mabigat na dugo ko sa kanila. They have done three things to me that left me very angry at them.

Why? First, they called me up on my celphone asking if I could report to work at 2 am. That would be fine except that it's my day-off at the same time I was in Manila with a friend. Even if I am at home I wouldn't go to work on my day-off even if their lives depend on it. This is unreasonable already.

Second, I had asthma and called in to report my absence. After that they asked: "Can you report to work?" What the #@%$ is wrong with these people?! The reason why I called in because I CAN'T report to work then they have to ask such a stupid question?! This happened to me twice and I nearly wanted to quit because of that.

The third one was worse, my sister was hospitalized because we had no idea what she was sick of (later we found out it was malaria) and I decided not to go to work because I was at the hospital since 1 in the afternoon and hasn't gotten any sleep (if I did it was only for 4 hrs) plus I don't think I'm in the condition to work with my emotions churning inside me. Hello, my sister was sick for a week and we were taking turns on keeping an eye on her. Plus, there was a typhoon in the country.

So I called and said I am not coming to work. What happened instead was they picked me up from the hospital. Good thing we didn't get ourselves killed along the way.

Now here I am feeling like a martyr and contemplating if I should stay or should I go. One reason I can't leave is the fact that I have nowhere to go after I quit. Jobs are hard to find these days lalo na kung nasa Pilipinas ka or maybe anywhere in the world. The other reasons would be obvious: no money to spend on myself and give to my family, debts would be unpaid (like my sister's), no work and I won't be able to see my crush...ok this is really shallow.

The real reason why I don't want to leave is because I might end up regretting it afterwards. I did with my previous job and I lasted for almost a year (almost 10 months). Wala pang six months in my new job and I am going to leave again. I feel like I don't have a permanent timeframe in one job. Be it three months, ten months, six months...I don't last for a year.

Call centers have very unusual schedules especially customer service-oriented call centers but what my company's scheduling is outrageous! Weekly changes on the schedule is not cute! The schedules I don't mind (just don't give me a 4am-1pm schedule) but the number of times they are changing their schedule is unreasonable not to mention unstable. One thing I can say about my company I am working for is:$@#& you! And don't they dare use the excuse that this is a call center. Bullshit. I know what a call center is because I used to work with one and they don't give this kind of schedule. Maybe it's because it's an outbound center that deals with sales for small businesses so the schedule there is much more stable.

But the hell with that, my question is still unanswered.

Should I stay or should I go?

management sucks, but you get rewarded...inconsistencies here!!!

I am working as a technical support representative in a call center here in the Philippines. You can see that on my profile. Anyway, the company I am working for is not that new in Manila but very much a baby here in Baguio. It was a great opportunity to work in a call center located in the northern part of the Philippines. Why? There's no place like home. You work at a job you are adept of (I have call center experience) and at your hometown. You don't have to go to Manila and look for a job and while the pay there is great, so are the expenses. You won't even feel that you are earning P18,000/month.

So here I am working 9 hours a day, 5 days a week troubleshooting online issues from American customers who are too stupid or too lazy to fix their own problems. It is easier for them to call up tech support and curse at them blaming their ISP for their problems that are as simple as not knowing their password to having one of the cables from the modem unplugged.

This job is kind of different and requires more to be more professional than my former job (where you only sell online yellow pages and pick a fight with the customer whenever you feel like it...ahhh, the freedoms of outbound calls). Plus, it requires you to use your brain, which is a relief to know. A little technical knowledge wouldn't hurt either. If you have loads of tech knowledge then you are a tech geek, a PS (product specialist not play station), or an owner of a computer shop (like kuya Alvin Tandoc, aka Baby Buckner). Basically, this is a much more difficult job because troubleshooting connectivity issues requires knowledge, skills and a very. very long patience.

I am an irate agent even in my former job I have the tendency to yell at the customer on the other. How I still survive in this job is beyond me.

The company I am working for is much better than the former job I have. But like any other company we have problems. First the management doesn't know how to take care of us mere employees. One instance is their system of scheduling is so unstable that I feel disoriented on what day of the month it is. You see our schedule is being changed every week which should not be the case since this would destroy your body clock. Damn can't they see that?

Second ever since I started working I heard nothing except payroll disputes. Even if this was fixed there are still disputes all around. Most of my co-workers resigned because of this, my best bud Ice resigned because of her 25 hour overtime that was not reflected on her payslip (paycheck for Westerners) and had a row with one of the supervisors here implying that she is lying about her overtime pay...what a bitch to be honest.

So she left and I thought I might as well join her. Because of this, we had the most outrageous adventure in our lives when we went to Manila and did some job hunting. She managed to be accepted in a very nice call center in Ortigas and I ended up with uncertainty. When I got back home, they called me one by one.

Result? The first one sent me an email with the usual crap of while your qualifications are good blah....blah...blah...but there are people much more qualified than you are. The second one, I turned down their final interview since it is soooo late in the evening (who ever heard of a 10pm interview?! And in Makati of all places!). When the same company called me here in Baguio I told them that I am back home and the guy (some idiot HR personnel I'm sure) said thank you and let the phone go. The third which I ended waiting for the entire night was a waste of time and effort (not to mention of sleep) because in the end I wasn't accepted. The fourth one well, almost but not quite since this company and the one back home are at odds with each other since they have the same program or client from the US. There goes my chances of working in Manila once again.

But when I got back, I decided to stay. You might think ARE YA NUTS?! But I did. Not only because there is no place like home but also because in some weird reason I still believe that someday things would change for the company.

In a way it did since I suddenly find myself a recipient of some sum of money (not that big of an amount but money nevertheless) because of a very good survey from several customers and had recently got a 2-day grandslam for customer satisfaction, which I got a lollipop I guess. Gee, I am avoiding sweets since we have diabetes in the family. Food rewards come and while we're grateful for being fed, money is much better.

Rewards? Candies and cookies. Why don't they add a glass of milk as well? Too bad there is no fireplace in the office for Santa Claus to drop by.

But the company is relatively young (at least here in Baguio) but that is not an excuse to mess with their employees. They do that, they lose people. People who are not leaving the company stayed because either they have no choice or because it is not easy to find work these days since Philippines has very high unemployment rate. So there goes the enjoyment of the job.

If you're not happy with your job quit already or it will kill you one day.

Told you this is inconsistent.

fanfictions, flames and mary sues

I am an avid reader of fanfictions and I never fail to go to fanfiction.net everytime I am in front of a computer (like right now, I am at work and looking at that particular website while troubleshooting connectivity issues). Anyway, I recently came across a particular author who had nothing else to do except flame other authors.

It seems that she hates Mary Sues. To define this a Mary Sue is a character who is totally perfect, no flaws or anything that would mar her personality. She is someone who can do anything and is unstoppable. She is the object of every man's fantasy and lust as well. If there's anyone who can elaborate or correct me further on this definition that would be great.

Fanfictions are fictions or works written by fans of anime, cartoons, tv series, books (gee, I wonder why you have to write fanfictions based on books, this I will never be able to figure out...ok, we are getting out of the subject here). Anyway, this is one good way of expressing oneself even if the charcters are not exactly original but this is one of the ways to exercise one's creativity and eventually evolve to write real-life stories.

Anyway, going back to that author she flames writers who does not meet her standards of what a good fanfiction should be. She did write her own work and honestly I find it funny and her style is sarcastic and mocking. I was laughing while I read it, heck I tried not to laugh out loud since I was at awork. But it was really funny in a mean way.

I am not here to flame her back or defend the authors she had just flamed but to state that both of them has a point. The author is right that there are some writers whose works are plain lousy and I would love to flame them to death for their plain stupidity in writing stories. Some don't even have plot and the content is horrible. These people would need to either expand their horizons or read further.

But these authors are quite young where most of them are only high school students. The oldest writers I have met so far are on their junior year in college and I am sure that adult writers are even more difficult to find (at least in anime fanfiction anyway). So it means that generally speaking, these writers are still immature and have no idea how the world works outside their home and classrooms. They need improvement definitely though it should be done in a constructive way not in a way that would offend them.

If that doesn't work, well they better get a hint. Or take a hike. Whatever.

I'm not much into correcting grammatical errors since I have grammar problems as well. But what I am after is the story content, plot and beauty.

As I was reading the flames and counterflames on the review area the first thing that came into my mind was: whoa, this is supposed to be the review section not a forum. If they want to flame each other please do it somewhere else. I understand that they are defending that particular flamed writer, but review sections are used to point out the improvements an author has to make not turn it to a free for all flame forum. Good thing that author has a blog here in blogger.com, she strikes back really nicely. Spiteful, but nice.

As I continued reading the review sections of ff.net, I thought to myself that I maybe, just maybe I could be a mediator for these guys. Like the ones at forums who can remove the topic and keep an eye on their members. Obviously that doesn't work here in the fanfiction community.

Nevertheless, the cycle of flames and counterflames will continue and I will be there reading and observing from afar.

love, love, love, sex, sex, sex...puh-leeze!

Love has been a topic as far as I can remember. I wonder why people never get bored talking about it because honestly, I am getting sick of it. It just ticks me off whenever I hear a love song or when talk revolves to the joys of loving someone. I hate to say this but I've never been in-love with anyone in my entire life and I wonder if I'll stay that way. Oh I meet people and feel an attraction to them but that would be either a heavy infatuation, short-term crushes or quick lust. Love? Never been there yet so I don't understand what it's like.

*sigh*

Then you add sex along with it, which makes things worse. So ok, everybody's doing it these days, big deal. Does it mean I have to join the circus as well? Do I have to do it with my boyfriend just to show that I love him? To those who do, fine that's their choice.

For the first question: that would depend of course if I'm crazy enough to do so. But I'm not.

For the second question: NO @#%$NG WAY! THAT WOULD HAPPEN WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!

You know what, I feel like giving up for the chance to love. If it means spending the rest of my life ALONE, then that's fine. I made that choice and I will stick to it even if the idea of being alone is scary.

Then again fate would always go against me. I don't mind. I just want them to prove me wrong that I don't have to be alone in this planet.

PROVE ME WRONG THAT SOMEONE LIKE ME WILL BE ABLE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED IN RETURN! PROVE ME WRONG THAT I WON'T HAVE TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE ALONE!

of rages and tempers

Controlling anger is one of the most difficult things I experience in my life. Especially if the type of anger is something that makes your heart beat faster than usual making your chest constrict with pain. Then later on, you feel like destroying everything in sight.

Today is one of those days where my rage surfaced. It hurts still despite my friends distracting me, making me laugh. It was really trivial, but most of our anger comes from little things.

My temper is something like of an H-bomb, it explodes rapidly and ends just as rapidly. But the damage is done, it's too late to take it back. Because of this, I hurt so many people.

I have a long way to go to manage my anger. A very, very long way......

ooohhh....

I am so ticked off and nervous today. We're doing some mock calls and honestly, it's driving me crazy! Shift's almost over and I still didn't get to have my turn (makes me wonder if that's a good thing or not).

Oh well, tomorrow's another day and let's see what happens. But man, am I nervous!

This job is a sign of staring over again and I hate to ruin it by making mistakes. Though I'd rather make mistakes now than do it by next week at least by then if I ever screw things up on the floor, it'll be minimal.

Good luck to all of us or in Japanese...Gambatte, minna!

almost done

One month of intensive training is over and honestly I'm pretty scared. I may manage to get good scores in my exams but I wonder if I'll be able to put to use what I learned. And when I manage to do that, I wonder how long would I last in my job.

It's a neverending process actually.

But I want to stop wondering and being scared even if a little fear is good for the soul. It makes me feel paralyzed.

of tardiness and panic

Remind me not to have a long talk with my best bud on the phone before you leave work. I'm almost late because of that, though it was fun talking to her since it's been a while since we chatted and I kinda miss her.

But if it means panicking over if you're late or not...maybe i should choose when to call her up.

new life

Starting over is never easy and it's what i always do since last year.  But this time,  I know I'm doing it for real. I have a new job, new set of co-workers, new challenges and hopefully a new love life?! Hahahaha! 

So here's to my new life!